Funny Jokes

A deformed and ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the bartender.
"I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks; like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything; me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"
"Fantastic!" exclaimed the bartender. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"
"Dunno...never found the head."