Funny Jokes

A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach was standing there. The cockroach immediately punched him between the eyes and scampered off.
The next evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell rang again. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there again. This time, it punched him, kicked him and karate chopped him before running away.
The third evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there yet again. It leapt at him and stabbed him several times before running off. The gravely injured man managed to crawl to the telephone and summon an ambulance. He was rushed to intensive care, where they saved his life. The next morning, the doctor was doing his rounds. He asked the man what happened, so the man explained about the 6 foot cockroach's attacks, culminating in the near fatal stabbing.
The doctor thought for a moment and said,
"Yes, there's a nasty bug going around.Ten signs that you're at a bad zoo
1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you.
2. The bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp.
3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat.
4. The zookeeper always wants to take the rhino for a walk.
5. The lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King.
6. The alligator in the reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida's Mascot.
7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you.
8. Ask the tour guide too many questions and you're suddenly dipped in some sort of sauce and placed in the tigers den.
9. The elephant appears to be two guys in a two part elephant suit.
10. Two words: Hippo Dogs!