Signs Leonardo DiCaprio is not Your Prom Date 8. By odd coincidence, your bouquet is exactly the same kind of flower that grows in your ditch.
7. Claims he only put on those 300 lb. so he could get the lead role in 'The Chris Farley Story.'
6. When you offer to pose naked for a sketch, he insists you wear an 'Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Star Trek' T-shirt instead.
5. Leo's Mask? Iron. Your date's mask? Leather with a zipper mouth.
4. Leo's tux by Oscar de la Renta. Your date's tux by Oscar de la Meyer.
3. The only thing 'titanic' about him is his libidinous desire to see *your* stern up in the air.
2. Sure, he boycotted the Oscars and he looks hot in his tux, but Leo don't drive no Geo.
and the Number 1 Sign Leonardo DiCaprio is not Your Prom Date...
1. That Titanic zit on his nose makes dancing cheek-to-cheek a dicey proposition at best.
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